


dont judge me, it's a joke i swear

by SayItInRed



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Manga & Anime, Nanase Haruka and Mackerel, Parody, Swimming, Yaoi, swommeng annimay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:08:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23244517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SayItInRed/pseuds/SayItInRed
Summary: This is a one-page short story of Makoto and Haruka being comfortably gay and is my take on what happens when we don't knock on doors before going into someone's home and bathroom.
Relationships: Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	dont judge me, it's a joke i swear

**Author's Note:**

> When I was in my yaoi roleplaying phase, I wanted to be a little bit ironic to avoid taking roleplaying too seriously. I wanted to make things a little more spicy by deciding to write a short story without pausing or backspacing a single time. It was also midnight, I was on my L-shaped couch perpendicular to my grandma, who wanted to know why I was laughing so hard. This was actually written on June 2nd, 2015, despite being posted here in 2020.

Once upon a time there was a sexy beast named Makoto. He was buff and had like all the muscles of course oh yeah baby and he had this boyfriend called Haru who was like pretty much also a sexy beast but not as sexy as Mako was. So yeah anyway basically it was like hella rainy outside right and Mako found himselvf at Haru’s front door. He knocked on it with his yaoi hand of justice and gayness. In the rain. So dramatic.  
“Haru?” Mako called out as he used shis oh so sexy yaoi hand to slolywly turn that doornknob just like he about to turn Haru on.  
Haru, being the quiet little tsundere bioy he was, totally didn’t respond oh man oh snap what’s gonna happen next? You already know don’t you? Yeah you do so yep just as you throughrt (why are there rs in there even I dunno) Mako made his way sexily to Haryu’s bathroom. Haru of course, was all curled in a ball like he ususallly awas like some adorable little ball python only with less scales and you know he’s a human fish creaturesnot a snake so yeah. Mako extended hi massive yaoi armhand out to hAru wanting to hold his not-so-yaoi hand and ofc Haru obliged and pan over his sexy naked upper torso aaaaaand he’ waering a swimsuit dammit no Haru why are you wearing a swimsuit in a bathtub?  
“I am disappoint” Mako said sadly.  
“…” Haru didn’t say.  
“Ok yaeh so anyway Haru I just came over to do you real good,” Mako said. “I brought comdaoms.”  
“Mako you know I can’t get pregnant right?” Hau asked.  
“Oh,” Mako said, an then pushed Haru back into the bathrtounb.  
“I am o so wet right now,” Haru said, because he was literally just pushed into a bathtub that was full of water.  
“Hot diggity damn straight you are” Mako said.  
“Hot gay more like wait what” Haru said, andthen stopped and looked into Mako’s deep green eyes which were as deep as like idk Haru’s love for mackerel and as green as A FOREST YES SO Poetic  
Haru, while confused, emotionally, was not sexually confused. Mako was not either, obv because he pushed his friend into a bathtub and then KISSED HIM ON THE NOSE so sexy ooh oh yes mm Haru was all  
“Oh Mako, ohhh you missed my mouth which Is why I can till talk” Haru said  
“O shit” Mako said as blandly as Simon from Cry of Fear said that very phrase.  
Mako then amended his actions by kissing Hary straight on the lips, his long luscious tongue pushing inside like a ball python only just like Haru not really though because it’s a tongue.  
“Mm” Haru said because he could not talk.  
It I certainly hard to talk with a tongue in your mouth yes. And boy was Mako’s tongue moving. It was gorrooving to some sick jams in Haru’s mouth like it was 1999. Suddenly, things becagan to rise and it wasn’t the tension ok maube it was just a little bit but that’s not what I miean.  
“Haryu…” Mako whispered in Haru’s ear after taking his mouth away from Hary’ mouth. “You’re… hard.”  
OH BABY HE WAS HARD LIKE DWAYNE THE ROK JOHNSON cough I mean yup so boners are happening. They then had sex the end good night I just writed this in front of y grandma I hope you’re happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me your favorite line as feedback. Every time I try to find mine I cry. Also please search "swommeng anniemay" on Youtube. It never fails to make me smile.


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